Sad

It is already Thursday late afternoon. We have only today, tomorrow and Saturday and we go home Sunday. This week has just whizzed by. These weeks with my fam always whiz by and then I have to wait such a long time before seeing ev again, and this time, we will have only two more weeks after getting home before we must drop Mollie off for her Freshman year at Bryn Mawr and return to our empty nest. A day I knew would arrive someday, a day I am glad is arriving but I will miss Mollie so, just the way I missed each of the boys when they left home. She will be fine. But when the kids move away, of course the relationship changes, as it should, but they are no longer “yours” anymore. Although if you are lucky, you remain connected with them, but their lives are no longer intertwined with yours, you know little about what is happening with them on a day to day basis. Phone calls, skypes, emails, texts, Facebook posts – all help but they are not the same as being together. The together times happen a few times a year and are always way too short, usually long weekends or holidays when so much else is going on. Ever since 1991 when my folks decided to host us all for week long summer vacations, I have looked forward to them all year long, knowing my Mom and Dad would not be around forever, and of course they were not. The last few years of their lives they were no longer able to join us on these trips. This saddened them. We would visit them for a few days first, which was always so depressing, even more so after my Dad died and we would have to leave my Mom to go to Curtis’s place in Pleasant Mount. The last year or two, as one by one, her faculties slipped away, I am not even sure Mom quite understood where we were going, although sometimes she would say she wished she could go with us. I think they would be happy to know we have continued the tradition. They, especially my Mom, were always a little worried that Curtis and I would have some type of blow up that would destroy our relationship. Because it used to be that every summer, there would be at least one incendiary incident between Curtis and me, and/or Curtis and my Mom. Our fights would go from zero to sixty in a second flat. One of us would say something which would trigger a reaction from the other which would explode into a screaming match which would cast a pall on the subsequent hours or even days. Horrible. Interestingly, things calmed down considerably when Mom and Dad could no longer be with us on these trips. Curtis and I have had some friction here and there, but so minor and so quickly resolved. Through my folks’ illnesses and death, I have come to realize more than ever how precious Curtis is to me and how preserving our relationship is as important as anything in life.
I of course would never tell him that – it would sound really lame and swell his head besides. . . or who knows? Maybe I will say something. Stranger things have happened you know.

Max and cb just went out back for a walk and tell me the blueberry bushes are all dried up. That seems so strange – this time last year, they still had so many berries. I do not understand how that could be, but oh, well. Tomorrow we are celebrating Max’s birthday, since we will not be with him on his real birthday, August 18, and since we did celebrate Woody’s birthday with him the last time he visited. We are making him a special dinner and maybe going on a hike. I will have to pick up a few things at the supermarket tomorrow because he wants some very specific things which we do not have. Saturday I will finally have to do laundry so I do not have to do it when we get home.

I am looking out the window at an idyllic landscape. I think I could live like this forever.

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 6th, 2015 at 5:05 pm and is filed under friends & family, Lifestyle, love. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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